It was beautiful
by GwenStonem
Summary: Tony and Michelle and the car scene? what happened? Smut. Rated m for a reason. New and improved version of the story.
1. Chapter 1

_I came by your house the other day, your mother said, you went away, she said there was nothing I coulda done there was nothing I coulda said. – Bruce Sprinsteen._

Tony

She promised me. She promised me she would wait. She promised she would wait and think about coming with me. She lied and now I'm alone.

HOW THE FUCKING HELL COULD YOU SHELL?

Michelle

I promised him. I promised I would wait. I promised I would wait and think about my options, about going with him, starting Cardiff. I lied and now I'm alone.

HOW THE FUCKING HELL COULD I DO THIS?

I left for College that night, the night in the car. Its all too vivid.

He told me we were better than that and then he kissed me. It was beautiful.

His hands pulled at my stomach and sooner than expected I was on his lap straddling him as he ran his hands through my hair tugging furiously. He was sloppy which was to be expected, given he had only recently remembered that he even had feelings for me. Then he stopped, just like that. And he said " Shell, my my my 'you know' isn't working remember? " That's when I felt it.

"Tony, yes, yes it is!" I was too busy being happy for him to even think about how it could be a good thing for me.

Tony

That night was weird, my mind was so messed up yet I knew one thing was for sure, I needed her.

Before I knew what was happening we were out the car running towards my house. The rain was soaking both of us but she didn't seem to care. Ive never seen her more beautiful than that moment, drops of rain dripping off her nose onto her chest, whilst her mascara was running down her cheeks. Michelle was the most beautiful thing ive ever seen.

We broke through the door with our lips never removing from each other, her hands were up my shirt and grazing my stomach and then in no time my shirt was up and over my head. For me it was like my first time all over again, since the accident I've had trouble remembering what its like, to touch someone, to feel there hot skin on my hands, but more than anything to be inside Michelle.

Michelle

It had been so long since I had felt this good, and we hadn't even done 'stuff' yet. I had missed this feeling so much, I'd like to say I hadn't had sex since his accident, but I'd be lying. I had slept with boys mindlessly just to try and keep me from remembering that he may never have come back to me. I would try so hard to forget about Tony, but I couldn't, I would open my eyes when I was with one of these boys and all I would see was him, kissing me and telling me he loved me. I missed that.

And now here I was, it was actually happening.

He pushed me up against his bedroom wall and he looked so perfect, his pale chest contrasted against the tanned skin I had worked so hard on. He put his hands up my shirt and then he stopped

and looked at me as if asking for permission, I nodded of course.

My t-shirt was flung over in the corner somewhere and I could feel his hands shaking as they brushed over my chest, who could blame him. We went on like this for a while, just kissing and touching. I think he was too nervous or embarrassed to try to unzip my jeans, so I done it for him.

"Fuck sakes Tony"

"I'm afraid youll think I just want in your pants, you don't have to do anything with me Michelle"

Then I burst into tears, "I want you, I want you so bad and now, now you don't want me"

He kissed my eyelids starting to cry with me.

"Michelle I want you more than I ever have"

And then it was rough, he tugged at the zip on my jeans and slid them down my legs leaving me only in my underwear. He brought my legs up around his waist and pushed my back against the wall. I could feel his wet eyelashes brushing against my face, I loved him so much it made me feel sick inside, like I had bats instead of butterflies.

It hurt, my back that is. It was scraping against the wall but it was a good sore. I fumbled around a bit with his belt and I heard him suck in his breath as I touched him. Then he pulled me off the wall and I was on top of him on his bed. We kissed a bit like this and then he flipped me over, I removed my bra in the most unladylike way, and he giggled as I went red.

Tony

She was amazing, even when her face was bright red from embarrassment. Unfortunately I wasn't very sure of what I was to do now, so I done the only thing I could.

I asked her.

"Michelle, I don't really, uhm, know what ive to do"

"Touch me"


	2. Chapter 2

Michelle

His hands covered my breasts and his lips moved over my nipples, he was licking and caressing me with his tongue, it felt like I was abusing him, taking advantage of his new weak state but I couldn't stop myself, I could barely keep my eyes from clouding over white when his hands pushed into my panties.

I was wet, I knew I was. I could feel it slipping down the back of my thighs, I was embarrassed and he could tell. So he done something I would usually find revolting, but it was sort of romantic in this state.

He ran his thumb over the back of my thigh wiping the wetness from my backside and brought his thumb to his lips, licking it and sucking on it. I turned red with this action, but I couldn't stop my staring.

Then, like the old Tony used to do, he licked the side of my ear and whispered.

"Never be embarrassed when your with me, promise?"

And with that he thrust both fingers into me, my scream could have deafened him but he stopped it with his tongue, I missed this, I fucking missed this.

Tony

Her back made an arch shape as she pushed against me, I tried to stop her movements with my arm strength but she was too strong, her adrenaline had kicked in and she was powerful, so I controlled her movements with my own hips, laying them heavily against her bones that it was almost painful.

I wanted so badly to feel her pulsing around my length, but I only had her pleasure in mind and right now, there was no way I was stopping before she could climax.

And then, suddenly, out of the blue.

She was crying.

Michelle

Then I was crying.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony

It had been raining previously so we were already soaked to the bone, but this was different. It was like a dampness on my cheek and it was warm, like her lower half of her body.

As soon as I knew something was wrong I stopped in my tracks, and began remove the 3 fingers which were working at her, but before I could fully stop, she stopped me.

Michelle

Don't ask me why I was crying, because I'm not really sure.

Maybe it was the guilt, maybe it was that I was happy?

Or maybe, it was the fact that in that very moment of time, I knew how much I needed him, how much I depended on him, how much I had to get out before I could fall any deeper. How much I was aware, that even although I should stop everything and leave right now, I wouldn't be able to. Not because he would stop me from leaving, but because I didn't want to. And there lay my problem, I am the sweet, decayed, rotting tooth that is still attracted to the sugary sweetness, I want what is bad for me.

Tony

She held my hand in place, and looked at me. Just looked at me for about a minute straight.

"I can't do this Michelle, I don't want to do this to you, you don't have to, I mean-eh- uhm-I don't want you to feel…"

She cut me off.

"I want this, Tony I want this"

Her hands slipped into my boxers and I couldn't stop my heavy breathing, I had forgotten what it felt like to be hot for someone like this, to want them so badly you want to pause time and stay in this moment forever. My beautiful silence was interrupted by a girly, lollipop laugh.

"Tony, aha, ehm, *she laughed a lot* you'll need to get as naked as I am"

"Oh, yeah, sorry, no problem I'll just, uh yeah one second."

And then, I was in the skud, naked, nude, in my birthday suit. Butt out. Dick out. Balls out. Everything.

Michelle

He was bigger than he used to be. His shoulders were much broader. He had much more muscle. He had grown at least another 2 inches if you 'know what I mean' and seemed to have grown a few feet height wise.

Or maybe I've just forgotten what he looked like. He was still the most handsome boy –man- I've ever seen.

I started to guide him to my entrance but he pulled back and looked at me. Not just my face but my entire body, up and down then again and then again.

"I just want to remember this, my new first time"

"I hope it lives up to your others Tony"

"Don't have anything else that I remember Shell"

"Oh, yeah I'm sorry"

"Don't be"

And with that, he pushed.

I was right, I had to have been. He must have grown a good few inches because my body is, well, lets say very well adapted to his size -or his old size anyway- and this hurt like a bitch. I made high pitched yelp that was sort of like a jack Russell, oh so hot, and it obviously sounded painful because he stopped dead straight and….

"Michelle, are you okay? Please tell me you're okay? I'm so sorry, I'll stop. Come on I can make you something to eat, or maybe you don't want something to eat, we can watch tv, oh my god I'm so sorry if I hurt you, fuck, I'm such a fucking twat, seriously but, just tell me to piss off and I will I swear to fuck, shit I'm sorry, I love you and I just I, I, didn't think about it, I didn't think it would hurt you like that….."

"You love me?"

"What?"

"Tony, you said 'I love you"

"Uh, yeah, I guess I did"

"Tony, do you?"

Tony

Shit, I must have hurt her. Fuck, im a fucking twat fuck shit bastard cock spaz horse sheep shagger fucker pussy wanker.

I also starting ranting on and on and must have looked like a right tosser.

Then it happened.

"I love you and I just I, I, didn't think about it, I didn't think it would hurt you like that….."

"You love me?"

"What?"

"Tony, you said 'I love you"

"Uh, yeah, I guess I did"

"Tony, do you?"

Do i? Do i? It's silly to even ask, I knew from the moment in that bathroom cubicle that I loved her, it was the only thing I was sure about these days. I loved her. I love her.

"Yes."

And then she pushed down against me, wrapping her arms round me in a hugging motion, which was very unmichelle like, she-from what I can remember- was the type who wanted to be in control, wanted to be sexy and seem unbreakable. Now she was just crying, her small hands scratching against my back drawing blood and her face was red and puffy with mascara all down her cheeks while she tried to hide from me by pushing her face into my chest. I've never seen her look so perfect, everything about this felt right.

"Do it for me Tony, don't stop, don't stop please"

"I love you Michelle, I always have, I always will"

I buried myself deeper into her and she let out a muffled cry, it was so hot.

Michelle

"Tell me you love me"

"I love you Shell"

"Again" "Again" "Again" "Again" "Again"

I needed to hear it, it made it feel better, more right.

We came in unison, in perfect unison.

We both cried out-well maybe me a little more- it was like a symphony.

Then we just lay, and he tickled my stomach the way he used to and I curled against his chest, both of us now crying.

"Promise me something Shell?"

"Anything."

"You'll wait, just a bit you'll wait and see how things go"

"I will"

"Promise?"

I knew I couldn't, I had to go. But what's wrong with hope? I'd rather he fell asleep happy than not, so I did all I thought I could.

"I promise you Tony"

"Night Michelle"

"Night Tony"

Tony

"Night Michelle"

"Night Tony"

Then she sank deeper into my arms, and fell asleep.

Or so I thought.

"Tony?"

"Michelle?"

"I love you"

"I love you too"


	4. Chapter 4

"The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland."  
― Elizabeth Gilbert, _Eat, Pray, Love_

Michelle

It was around 3 maybe 4, I was awakened by someone coming in downstairs, Effy probably, but whatever it was it kept me awake. I sat up, loosened myself from Tony's grasp and done my best to keep quiet whilst putting my clothes on.

I'm not going to lie, the idea crossed my mind. Maybe I could stay? Maybe I could be the kind of person to stay? To do what I said I would. To wake up next to him and do this all over again, to make someone else happy for once. But I didn't, because I'm a selfish, narcissistic bitch.

As I was collecting my things together I watched him, how he slept, breathed, twitched, made soft spluttering noises and the way his hands moved around the opposite pillow, like he was searching for something, someone, me.

I grabbed the pen that sat upon this book that read 'Revision', I had never seen it before which made me nervous, it didn't look like a college shit book? So I became the old Michelle and done my nosey-insert my very cute, mischievous nosey michelle face. I noticed straight away that it was something different, homemade-there was lots of weird pieces of paper sticking out from the pages.

I least expected what I found inside. It was filled with photos of Tony and I, cinema tickets from dates and notes he and I has sent each other in first year English. It was a masterpiece, art at its best and it made me cry all over again. I felt so stupid, so ridiculously stupid that I was crying at a book the love of my life had made in order for him to remember how he felt. For fuck sake Shell pull yourself together you stupid bint!

I couldn't look at it anymore or I felt I was going to fall to the floor in tears. I wrote the note as quickly as I could, tacked it to his wall and made my way downstairs, I wanted out quick but that was not going to happen tonight.

"Michelle?"

Fuck.

"Hey, ef"


End file.
